


Be Here Now

by Ichirinsa



Series: A Professor's New Dawn, and assorted Support Conversations [7]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24592780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ichirinsa/pseuds/Ichirinsa
Summary: Ryuji's already shown enough proficiency in his ability to swing a big stick. Rather than have him repeat that process a few thousand times, Byleth has something more practical in mind.
Series: A Professor's New Dawn, and assorted Support Conversations [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765159
Kudos: 32





	1. Support Level C - Feel the Burn

“Uhhh, teach?” Ryuji stumbles into the temple courtyard. Despite its proximity to Kichijoji, the noise of the city is entirely absent from the courtyard, solely accented by the flow of water and the rhythmic thud of the sozu. He’s dressed in gym clothes and has his messenger bag slung over his shoulders like a backpack. He squats on his heels next to Byleth, facing her from her side, though she hardly stirs.

Byleth is sitting down, legs crossed, eyes closed. When she senses him right next to her, she just pats the floor. The motion is inviting, silent.

After shedding his bag, he plants his butt on the floor and mimics her posture. “So… why’re we here instead of the gym? You gonna teach me more about a good swing the monk way, or what?”

She turns to him, face to face. “I had something different in mind. Your skill with a ‘bat’ is wonderful as is. This will be practical in and outside of the Metaverse.”

He tilts his head, almost the same as a confused puppy. “Well, what is it?”

“Meditation and mindfulness.” Byleth’s voice is level, calm.

With that, he’s thrown off-balance. He sputters, trying to contain laughter. “There you are with that sense of humor, teach.”

Her facial expression does not change an inch. “I’m being serious.” She reaches forward, a hand on each of his shoulders. “I am about to say some things that might sting. I need you to keep an open mind and not go on the defensive about it.”

“Uhhhhh, sure?”

Then, she withdraws her hands and crosses them over her lap, prepared to give this “employee review” of sorts. “You come across as a very angry person who is quick to react to his emotions, hurting himself and others in the process.”

Ryuji winces as though the wound were physical. He rubs his shoulder, bashful. “Oof. You weren’t kiddin’, were you? Certainly didn’t pull any punches...”

“Hey, I warned you. But I think this might help.”

Even despite the Subject matter, Ryuji maintains -- or at least feigns -- some semblance of interest. “Soooooo… what do we do?”

“I’ll guide you through it. Find whatever seated position is most comfortable for you, then close your eyes.”

Ryuji shifts in place, crossing his legs and pressing his palms against his ankles. He’s more slouched than she would like, but if he’s comfortable, that’s more important. “Okay… now what?”

“You don’t have to keep responding. Just listen. Start by becoming aware of your breathing. Feel the flow of air in, and out. In, and out.”

She pauses, watching his shoulders rise and fall in cadence with the sozu’s percussive thud against stone. His brow is furrowed, tense with effort. “You might find that your thoughts interrupt this process. That’s okay. But ignore the pull they have on your consciousness. They’re just ripples in a pond.”

Her words hang in the air, as though filling a room with smoky incense. “This gets weird, bear with me. Try to focus on how the inside of your hand feels.”

He relaxes his right hand, flexing it, spreading his fingers, bending them to and fro. “Huh. Never thought about that before. It’s… kinda tingly.”

“Spread that awareness to your fingers. Then to the other hand.”

He repeats the process with his left hand. But between breaths, he huffs impatiently and opens his eyes. “Uh, no offense, teach, but I don’t see how this is gonna help me fight.”

“Would it help you if I explain why?”

Ryuji relinquishes his position, opting to lean his head against a pillar. “Yeah, definitely.”

Byleth, on the other hand, has hardly moved a muscle. “Mindfulness grants a new level of insight about your body. When you meditate like this, the goal is to acquaint yourself with your body in its resting state, to know its baseline.”

“Okay, I guess I follow so far…”

“Emotions are your body’s reaction to the mind. Or rather, to your mind’s reaction to the environment. By being aware of your body, you can feel and gauge how your body shifts when your emotional state changes. You can separate yourself from the emotion, ride it out like a wave and digest the feeling, rather than identify with the emotion and unconsciously react to it.”

He sighs, eyes pointed upward, surely dissecting the shapes in the wood. “Now you lost me. That helps me fight, how?”

“It keeps your consciousness uninhibited and more efficient in times of stress, allowing focus on the task at hand without distraction.”

“Oh, huh. I guess that makes sense. So I just gotta… really be in-tune with my body, yeah?”

“That’s the first step, yes. Do you want more guidance for this meditation, or--?”

He dismisses her with a palm. “I think I got the gist. Lemme try on my own for a sec here.” Then, he picks up where he left off, resuming his prior body position.

Byleth remains as she is, eyes open to read his body language and facial expressions. At first, he’s still tense. But in the coming minutes, his fists unfurl, his breathing slows. Byleth fears for a moment that he may have fallen asleep, until he opens his eyes, visibly frustrated.

“Dammit, I keep gettin’ distracted.”

“That’s okay. Don’t judge yourself for it.”

“Can we skip to the part where I stop bein’ so angry?”

“It really won’t work if--”

“Please. I wanna at least try.”

“...Okay. Just remember where you are, and that I’m right here with you.” He nods, then closes his eyes again. “Take the time to occupy the body. That feeling of the inside of your hand? Try to feel that with every part of yourself. Then once you’re rested and conscious… recall a time when you were _furious_. A memory so difficult, even the thought of it makes you angry.”

His eyelids clench, his hands curl into fists. Even just sitting like this, he’s shaking.

“Feel how your body shifts with that emotion, but don’t mistake yourself for that emotion. Just--”

Ryuji pounds a fist against the wood below him, giving up his meditative posture entirely. “Dammit! I can’t... Ugh!” Then, he swallows and looks Byleth in the eye. “Sorry, teach. I didn’t mean to yell, just…”

“It’s okay. This is pretty far outside of what you’re used to, so I appreciate that you even tried.”

“I’ve effed up a lot of my life because of shit I did when I was angry, teach. I want to get better, really.”

“So have a lot of other people. So have I. Again, don’t judge yourself for it.” She leans back against a pillar behind her, one leg dangling off the side of the porch. “We can talk, but do so quietly. Can’t interrupt the monks too much. What memory got you that upset?”

“That bastard, Kamoshida, breaking my leg and calling it self-defense. I coulda just let it slide, but I ended up ruinin’ my future when I lunged at him.”

“I know it sounds like I’m going against what I’m teaching right now, but I do want to say: Fuck that guy. He’s a human trash can, and you shouldn’t regret for a second that you made him confess.” She rubs the back of her neck, sheepish. “Also, I did end up getting my job because of you, so…”

Ryuji sputters a laugh once more. He never expects these things to come out of Byleth’s mouth. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Ryuji’s voice sinks. “After all of that, I owe it to my mom to keep my anger in check.”

“Then I think you’ll get the hang of this, eventually.”

“Okay. Lemme try again.”

“Not today. After that, you won’t make much progress for the rest of the day. It takes time.”

“Damn… now what am I supposed to do? I freed my whole schedule for today.”

“If I make a concession to go to the arcade with you, will you promise to study when you get home after?”

"...Deal.”

Byleth considers some possibilities. _That gives me an idea…_

They interlock pinky fingers, get up, and get to walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that's the last support conversation before the next chapter. If I'm satisfied with the editing, I'll try to get it out tomorrow.
> 
> Fun fact: I'm writing some of these supports backwards. Helps to have the goal in mind when starting. If any of you have trouble beginning a story, I recommend trying this method out some time.
> 
> And yes, that does mean I've already written some of the romance/adult (wink) chapters for the adult confidants


	2. Support Level B - No Thoughts, Head Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth decides for a... different way to teach the concept of meditation to Ryuji. It's not exactly kosher, but if it works...

The arcade in Central Street is always decently busy -- faces come and go, giving a few attempts at a game and then leaving, while others are more dedicated to the hobby. The atmosphere is less than ideal for what Byleth has in mind, but it just might work.

“Dang, teach, I didn’t know you’d like goin’ to the arcade so much last time that you’d invite me back.” Ryuji’s returning from the change machine with a number of smaller yen coins in hand. Byleth’s treat, naturally.

She takes a few from him, then twiddles a single coin between the fingers on one hand. “No, this is for the same lessons as last time. I figured that a temple like that might have been too out of the norm for you, and I had an idea on how to help you practice.”

Ryuji revolves his head in a semicircle. “Uh. Ain’t this place a bit… loud for that?”

She smiles. “Exactly. How are you at shooting games?” Then, Byleth leads the way. “Watch this for a bit. This is what it looks like to put mindfulness into practice in a fight.”

In goes a coin, up goes the plastic arcade gun. For the next ten minutes, Byleth’s face shows nothing. Her brow hardly furrows, her eyes dart back and forth, she’s quick and certain with her movements. Not to mention, she’s well on her way to setting a new high score on this machine.

“Woah… holy shit, teach.” Ryuji is mesmerized. It’s not until moments later that he notices Byleth has gathered a crowd of onlookers, all equally enthralled by her expertise. In no time at all, she’s beaten the game’s entire short storyline. In go her initials: BSE. “What’s the ‘S’ stand for?”

“Sothis. I don’t actually have a middle name, but I wanted to put in three letters, so…” She hands the weapon over to Ryuji. “Now, Ryuji, I want you to take a guess at what was going through my head during that entire game.”

“Uhhh. I guess the stuff you’ve been teachin’ me? Like bein’ conscious of your body, and all that.”

“Almost. You’re not entirely incorrect.” She taps one finger against Ryuji’s forehead. “There was nothing. I was thinking of nothing.”

“Wh-How? I thought you were supposed to think of your body.”

“The end goal is to be constantly conscious of your body in the background. To feel it, but to not think on it. By doing so, you can concentrate fully on the task at hand. Applying this to everyday life helps to not get sucked up by your emotions.”

“Okay. So I just gotta keep practicin’ the whole meditation thing until that happens without me meanin’ to, right?”

“Essentially. Right now, you’re going to try it with this game. You wanted to see how this would help you fight, so I just showed you. Now, I want you to experience it for yourself.”

He smirks and nods. “I like you, teach. You get me.” In goes another coin. Ryuji is off to a rough start at first. He purses his lips, squints his eyes, tenses his stance. His shooting isn’t bad after all the practice he gets in the Metaverse, but playing a game is a different beast. Not long passes until he hits a “Game Over” screen. He sighs with closed eyes, inhales and then opens as he breathes out. He sends in another coin, but is now approaching the game differently. His grip on the replica pistol has eased, his face has relaxed, his breathing has steadied. He’s getting the hang of it.

As the rest of the game passes by, with a few interspersed Game Overs here and there, Ryuji has also triumphed over the story mode. To his surprise, he’s landed a spot on the nineteenth slot of the high score board. “RS.”

“That was good, Ryuji. You’re improving. I noticed that you didn’t let your frustrations overtake you when you failed. That’s a good mindset to take in the face of a defeat.” She offers a hand for a fist bump, and he swiftly returns it.

He rubs one hand against his neck. “I mean, this is somethin’ easy to not get worked up over. It’s just a game, not serious at all. Other stuff is where I’ve got a problem.”

“You’ll get there. This is good practice.” She crosses her arms, ready to review. “Now tell me, when you got into the zone, how did the noise of the arcade sound to you?”

“It was like… It was still there, but it didn’t matter at all. I was aware of it, but I could tune it out a bit.”

“Good. And your body?”

“Kinda the same deal. When I chilled out for a sec to take stock, I let it fall to the wayside to just shoot. It was kinda like… tunnel vision, but the tunnel is transparent so you can see out of it, if that makes sense?”

Byleth stretches both arms out. She smiles, and practically exclaims, “Fantastic, Ryuji. That’s the feeling to look for! I told you that you’d be able to do this.”

“I guess so. Huh. Feels weird to be able to do it at all.” He returns the game’s gun back to its holster, then the two head outside to Central Street to get some new air -- some that doesn’t feel musty due to a concentration of nerds.

“How do you mean?” Subconsciously, they head for the subway.

“Like… I’ve been holdin’ a lot of anger in me for so long now. It’s different to deal with it in a way I ain’t used to, y’know?”

“And how do you think you can manage it going forward?” They look around, then cross the scramble intersection of Shibuya.

“...Digest it, don’t get attached, use it to focus. Like you said.”

“Good. I think people don’t understand that there aren’t really any ‘good’ or ‘bad’ emotions. We just assign them those sentiments because of how they affect our worldview, how they make us act if we trap ourselves in them. Every emotion has a purpose, Ryuji.”

“Really? Even anger?” They stop near the statue of Buchiko to keep the conversation going.

“It’s the brain’s way of expressing that reality isn’t how you wish it to be, and to point out that people may be mistreating you, along with other injustices.”

“Sadness?”

“Our body’s way of assigning value to the things you care about and to reflect on them, as well as communicating to you that may need to request help grieving the loss of those objects or relationships.”

“Fear?”

“A defense mechanism to avoid injury or loss.”

“Damn, really? You know your stuff, huh?”

“Took me a while to learn. I used to have very weak emotions, if any. It wasn’t until I started teaching and making friends that they became more prevalent. I wasn’t used to them, so I did some research to understand myself better. It helped, and now I am the decently well-adjusted adult you see before you.”

“No shit.” Ryuji means to maintain the discussion, but a loud grumble from his stomach cuts him off. “Jeez, I’m starving…”

“Likewise, actually. Akira tells me you know a good ramen place nearby in Ogikubo, right?”

“Ooooh, hell yeah! You’ll love it!”

Byleth smiles. It’s nice to see him this happy. “My treat -- again, as long as you promise to study and do your homework afterward.”

“Fine, fine. Jeez, you’re gonna end up bein’ my sugar momma at this rate.”

That’s a term she hasn’t heard before. “Sugar momma…?”

“Ah, you missed out on that one gettin’ popular, huh? I’ll explain. See, it’s when…”

They make their way underground to the subway, all while Ryuji gets into the particulars of the “sugar” dynamic, and what it… sometimes entails. Byleth can’t help but laugh at the notion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know that a Japanese arcade game probably wouldn’t require/use three Latin script initials because the Japanese don’t use middle names, but I wanted to include a bit about Byleth not having a middle name. Fight me on it, punks


	3. Support Level A - The Power of Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji's been hard at work. Now, he wants to show off the results.

Byleth is taken by surprise when Ryuji is the one to invite  _ her _ to the arcade this time. He seemed pretty stoked about it, so she couldn’t refuse the request, even though not a single part of her would’ve wanted to, anyway.

He’s waiting for her outside, rather than inside, and he practically drags her by the wrist to show her… something. But his face sours a mite when he sees other kids playing on the shooting game from last week -- one younger, and one a high schooler. 

The high schooler looks apologetic. “Sorry, my little brother wanted to try this game out, and he really wants to beat the story for the first time. We might be playing for a while…”

“Hey, s’all good, bud. There’s other games to tide us over.” Ryuji waves Byleth over in a different direction. “Well, I wanted to try that game out with both of us side by side, but that’ll have to wait. What else we got here…”

Byleth admires that he didn’t get angry, that he immediately turned toward patience. “If you want to see me suck at something, there’s rhythm games to play.”

“Oh, definitely.” Ryuji rubs his hands together, as though the friction generates anticipation instead of heat.

And, indeed, Byleth is humbled in her attempts to play the taiko. She fails multiple times. After her third try, she relinquishes the bachi to Ryuji. He looks at the screen with a practiced confidence, picks a tough song at max difficulty, then rolls his wrists and shoulders expectantly.

He’s a pro. It’s absurd. He drums with flexible, reactive motion, bobbing his head along with the beat. His eyes are transfixed on the screen. He follows the motion of each “don” and “ka,” only reacting to bite his lip on one particularly difficult section near the end of the piece. Byleth is hypnotized. After he’s finished, he turns to her with a smug smile.

She’s flabbergasted. Her jaw lays slack. “Ryuji, holy shit. How on Earth did you get that good at that?”

“I used to play it a bunch in middle school, but I kinda stopped when other games came around. All this talk about focus and such made me give it another go. Turns out I still got it.”

“Damn. I’d say so, yeah.”

The two are interrupted when they hear the sound of a familiar Game Over behind them. When they look at the source, the two brothers at the shooting game are forlorn.

“Damn, they’re outta coins. One sec, teach.” Not a moment to spare, Ryuji dashes over in between them, then slips two coins into the machine as the continue screen’s countdown has hit One. “Hey, keep goin’! You two haven’t beaten the story yet, right?”

Both of them get right back to work, but the older brother looks way surprised. “But I thought you wanted to play.”

“No way, man. Your little bro deserves the fun. He needs to see the ending, it’s  _ wild _ .”

“...Thanks. You’re a cool g-- crap, watch out Daisuke!” He’s interrupted by a tense moment in the game, and his full focus is back to helping (carrying, somewhat) his brother beat the game.

Even so, Ryuji is already back at Byleth’s side. “Sorry ‘bout that, teach.”

All she can do is smile and nod approvingly. “You’ve grown, Ryuji.”

“Really?” He’s surprised, to say the least. “I mean… I don’t see it, I guess. No time like the present for the kid to have fun, that’s all.”

“Looks like you learned that part on your own, then.”

“What part?”

“There are no other moments than the present moment. The past no longer exists, and the future doesn’t exist yet.”

His hand rests against his chin, then he nods in understanding. “...And when it does, it’ll be ‘now,’ yeah?”

“You’re better at this than you realize. Truth told, that knowledge is the key to separating yourself from the pain of the past.”

Ryuji’s eyes are off to the side, juggling the information and ruminating on that notion. “Huh.”

“You might not be able to put that part into practice just yet, but it’s good to keep in mind.”

Not even a minute after they have this conversation, the middle schooler from that shooting game dashes over to Ryuji and tugs on his shirt to steal his attention. “Thank you, mister.”

Ryuji pats his head with no fanfare. “No prob, little guy. Just pass the kindness on. Don’t give your brother a hard time, alright?” The kid nods and waves goodbye as he returns to his brother’s side.

When he’s gone, Byleth flips a coin in the air. “Our turn?”

“Hell yeah.”

They slot in their coins and get to work. With the same precision as before, they shoot, dodge, reload, repeat. Bosses rise and fall in moments. Hostages are rescued without casualty, and an entire city is saved from a robot uprising by an EMP blast covering the city of Tokyo.

The two high five after the credits roll, smug as hell. On the high score screen, they’ve nabbed the first-place slot. In second is Byleth’s old score, and in third is Ryuji. “That’s what I wanted to show you, teach. But now, I think we oughta cap it off.”

Byleth fires off the initials: R+B.

“Stronger together, dontcha think, teach?”

“Hell yeah.” The two grip hands in the most sportsman-like way possible. Firm grip, flexed arm. “I never doubted you for a moment, Ryuji. I hope you know that.”

“Means a lot.”

“I think this calls for a celebration. You’ve taken my lessons in stride, and you’re already applying them to various aspects in your life, not just in the Metaverse or in an arcade. Plus, we just set an obscenely high record for that game. Want anything for food?”

“Yeah, sure. There’s a diner like right next door. I was hopin’ you’d be able to help me with some stuff I’m learnin’ in class.”

Byleth laughs. “Of course. Let’s get going.”

“Hey, what’s so funny about me givin’ a shit about my grades for once?!” Ryuji feigns offense, but the grin is apparent through his facade.

He really has grown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji’s supports were absolutely inspired by the teachings of Ram Dass and Eckhart Tolle, by the way. their philosophies are mindfulness meditation times 1000. really neat stuff in my honest onion
> 
> why did I choose for Ryuji to be fucking awesome at taiko master? I don't know!


End file.
